New words proposals

The  Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited  readers to take any word from  the dictionary, alter it  by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a  new definition.

Here are the  winners:

1.  Cashtration  : The act of buying a house,  which renders the subject financially impotent for an  indefinite period  of time.

2. Ignoranus  : A  person who's both stupid and an asshole

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax  refund,  which lasts until you realize  it was your money to  start with.

4.  Reintarnation : Coming  back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone :  The substance surrounding  stupid people that  stops bright ideas  from penetrating.

6. Foreploy : Any   misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose  of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism  spray-painted very,  very high

8. Sarchasm : The  gulf between the author of  sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get  it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee  intravenously  when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease.

11. Karmageddon :   It's like, when everybody is sending off all  these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth   explodes and it's like, a serious   bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.):  The  grueling event of getting through the day consuming only  things that are good for  you.

13. Glibido : All talk  and no action.

14. Dopeler  Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to  seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15.  Arachnoleptic : The frantic dance  performed just after you've  accidentally walked through a spider web..

USA Presidents - Fast Facts

All the American presidents in a showcase.

http://www.usa-presidents.com/

Asking for a Raise

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

• I do physical labor. I work at great depths. 
• I plunge headfirst into everything I do. 
• I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
• I work in a damp environment. 
• I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. 
• I work in high temperatures. 
• My work exposes me to contagious diseases. 

Sincerely,
P. Niss 

The Response:

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

• You do not work 8 hours straight. 
• You fall asleep after brief work periods. 
• You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 
• You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. 
• You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. 
• You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. 
• You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the Correct protective clothing. 
• You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. 
• You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

 And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.