- He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.- Groucho Marx
- His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it. - F. H. Bradley
- "The stupid person's idea of a clever person." - Elizabeth Bowen talking about Aldous Huxley
- Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
- Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
- Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own .
- He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory.
- He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
- I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
- Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? - Don Rickles
- She loves 'NATURE' - In spite of what it did to her.
- Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
- I don't want you to turn the other cheek - it's just as ugly.
- See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
- Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
- Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
- Are your parents siblings?
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
- Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
- Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
- Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
- Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
- Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
- Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
- He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!
- He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
- He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
- He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
- Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
- Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
- How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
- I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
- I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
- I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
- I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
- I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
- I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
- I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
- I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
- I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
- I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
- I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
- I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
- If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
- If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
- Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
- Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
- Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
- So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
- Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
- There is no vaccine against stupidity.
- Just because nobody understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
- Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds."
- Seeing you makes me think "somewhere, there's a village missing an idiot."
Friday, December 08, 2006
Insults. A useful guide
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