Insults. A useful guide

• He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.- Groucho Marx
• His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it. - F. H. Bradley
• "The stupid person's idea of a clever person." - Elizabeth Bowen talking about Aldous Huxley
• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
• Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
• Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own .
• He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory.
• He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
• Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? - Don Rickles
• She loves 'NATURE' - In spite of what it did to her.
• Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
• I don't want you to turn the other cheek - it's just as ugly.
• See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
• Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
• Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
• Are your parents siblings?
• As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
• Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
• Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
• Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
• Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
• Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
• Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
• Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
• Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
• He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!
• He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
• He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
• He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
• Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
• Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
• How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
• I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
• I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
• I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
• I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
• I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
• I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
• I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
• I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
• I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
• I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
• I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
• I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
• If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
• If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
• If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.
• Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
• Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
• Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
• So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
• Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
• There is no vaccine against stupidity.
• Just because nobody understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."
• Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds."
• Seeing you makes me think "somewhere, there's a village missing an idiot."